Vicki and her husband Bernard first began thinking about fostering nearly 18 years ago, inspired by friends who were already doing it. “We just thought, no, this is something we really want to do.” At the same time, life brought everything into sharp focus.

Vicki had a family member that was unwell at the time, and it changed how her and Bernard saw the future. “It makes you realise life’s about doing what you want.” After the family member recovered, Vicki and Bernard decided to go for it, as ‘life is too short’. They felt a strong pull to open their home and help as many children as they could.

They did not step into fostering with a neat, fixed plan. Instead, they made a simple promise to themselves. “When we get matched with a child or a sibling group, we will take them as far as we can.” For them, fostering has always been shaped by the child’s needs, not by a label of short or long term.

They first fostered three siblings, and it became a 14-month journey, supporting them back to live with their mum and dad. Vicki remembers how carefully it was done. “It was a gentle transition for them. They still had stability with us, but they were also rebuilding time with mum and dad.” Contact slowly increased, overnight stays followed, and by the time of the children’s panel, being at home felt natural. They are still in touch today, now in their late teens and early twenties.

Resilience, Vicki explains, is not about being fearless. “You’re always going to have fears and doubts. It’s about how will the child cope, will they attach, will they feel safe.” Experience helps, but what matters most is knowing you are not doing it alone.

That became clear with one young boy who came into their care needing constant reassurance that he would not be given up on. School felt impossible. Eating and sleeping were a struggle.

“He really needed to feel loved, to feel worthy of himself,” Vicki says. There were moments when he was feeling very dysregulated, overwhelmed, and still feeling unsafe. Instead of carrying it alone, Vicki and Bernard reached out. “It’s not a judgement on you to ask for help. You need the support to get it right for them.” Care Visions’ 24/7 on call, their Supervising Social worker, and Support Workers stepped in when it was needed most. “That support is invaluable.”

Alongside professional support, Vicki has built a strong fostering community; other carers, WhatsApp groups, buddying, and learning days. “Sometimes you just need someone who gets it,” she says. “Even just to say, that was hard, I’m going for a coffee.”

For Vikki, fostering is about the quiet victories. “The first real smile. Sitting on the sofa instead of watching from the corner. Tying shoelaces.” And if someone says they could never foster because they would get too attached, her answer is simple. “If you’re not getting attached, you’re not doing it right.”

If you want to learn more about fostering and the difference it can make to your life and the lives of children and young people - please click here.